Artin2010

Hello everyone,

Where do I start? I am a 52 year old male. I am the oldest sibling of five kids, my Spanish, Irish Indian parents had. I was very active as a boy,I was into sports, fishing, off- road motorcycle riding. I was raised in the Catholic Church and attended a Catholic school until entering an integrated public high school. As a young person, I spent a good amount of time with my grandparents due to the overcrowdedness of our small woodframed offgrade home with window air conditioning!

  My parents brought us up on a $475.00 a month income, my first bicycle was a modified second hand 20 inch with a bannana seat and high rise handlebars.

I remember eating alot of fish and grits, hot dogs and potatoes.

As a  teenager growing up in the late 60's, early 70's, I got into my share of trouble with my peers.

I spent much of my time when not at school, hanging around the hood with my friends.By the time I had graduated from high school, I was into beer drinking, and experimenting with smoking weed. I could see that this activity was taking me nowhere and seriously wanted to change the path I could see my life was going down.

So at the age of 18, I decided to follow in the footprints of my father and joined the United States Marine Corps and off to bootcamp I went.

I spent three wonderful adventurous years serving as an enlisted soldier in the Marines and in March 1981 I ended my military career by choice due to unfortunate circumstances I'd rather not go into. I was honorably discharged from active duty and went back to that place I called home.

I got a job and enrolled in the local Vocational -Technical College to learn the trades of AC, Refrigeration, Heating, Basic Electricity, Solar Energy. I made it to finals week of the first semester, my job quit me, my car blew up and I had so many distractions going on around me, my head was spinning off.

Well, I didn't make finals, dropped out of school and became the same person I was basically before joining the military, only now I had character issues, PTSD  and discipline issues that made me a more efficient user of those substances that would help me escape the reality of my miserable existence!

By now I had become such a backslider in all things including my faith, that I felt there was no hope at all of being a successful and productive citizen. I continued to spiral and  wallow in my negative behavior for at least another four or five years and everyone around me was an enabler contributing to my self destructive behaviors.

I felt completely trapped by my life and eventually disliked myself so much I had thoughts of ending it all.

One day hungover from three days partying, I was at a restuarant that a buddy of mine managed at that time. There was this cute young girl working the cash register/front counter. Her name was Tracey and my buddy bet me five dollars I wouldn't ask her out. Being the daring fellow that I am I took the bet and ask, she said yes to my offer and that Friday we went out on a date.

Two months later after spending many evenings with her, she tells me she is pregnant and that I am for sure the father. In a complete state of panic and confusion I went straitgh way into a three day drunk until one day my grandmother ask me what was wrong. I told her what was going on and she advised me to stop doing stupid stuff and get a grip on life.

A few more days passed and after serious contemplation, I decided to have a sit down with Tracey. After talking for what seemed like a week, we both came to the decision that we would get married and have a baby.

Nine years later and two more children, a career in construction work, all communication between us had broken down,our relationship took a vacation. I got laid off from my job, she took the kids and left, our Quaker parrot, "Yoggie" escaped from his cage and flew away, the dog disappeared all in a three day period. I was left all alone with a mortgage payment, utility bills and crack smoking, alcoholic neighbors. My wife filed papers for divorce and took what little money was left in our bank account, bought the best attorney in town and gave me the hammer.

At this point in life, I was so confused and miserable, I couldn't help but go both ways. drinking/drugging and talking to God, I really wallowed in extreme pain and loneliness until I got really sick and had to go to the doctor. The doctor assessed my condition mentally and physically and decided to admit me to the VA Physciatric Hospital in Gulfport,MS.

After 15 days of observation and evaluation, they moved me to a 28 day in-patient treatment program for addictions. This saved my miserable life and to this day I am grateful to them and God for bringing me through what seemed like the road to eternal damnation, a very dark season in life.

I know this is a long read, but this also is only bits and pieces of a rather lengthy personal biography.

I am clean and sober now, I read the Bible daily, I pray often that God help me to do the things I can not do on my own and I am relentlessly thankful, for His mercy shown on me.

"You spared a wretch like me!"

Yes, I have a colorful past, but not unlike many others. You know that old saying, I've been there, it applys!

I will never forget where I've been in life, have no regrets and I now look forward to better days as each day is a new gift that I have.

I love my children unconditionally, try to help them in every way I know how and I pray also that God keep them safe and sober.